Ken Hoffman's ode to a Hurricane

The Chronicle's Ken Hoffman has a pretend, but very funny letter from a TV Weatherman longing for Ernesto to return:

My pulse raced when you aimed Cupid's arrow at Houston. I fantasized about your dirty side, your whipping winds. My barometer was falling lower, yes, right there. I wanted you to hit Houston hard ... harder ... harder!

If your storm surge lasted more than four hours, although rare, I would have consulted my physician.

You can spread your love throughout Florida and all the way up the East Coast, and you will never find a weatherman who will lust for you like me.

I was prepared to stand in water up to my waist, tie myself to a pole on the station roof and scare viewers half to death, or all the way to Dallas.

I was going to say "dodged a bullet" and "batten down the hatches" every five minutes. I was going to explain how the "cone of uncertainty" gave us a 75 percent chance of a direct hit. But noooo, you ditched me.

Oh, sure, other weathermen warned me that you had commitment issues, that a hurricane like you was unpredictable, that you were a two-timing schemer with a stormy personality.

Read the rest and yes there is a lot more here. Of course it's funny now, until one hits the Gulf of Mexico. CONTACT: Leave me a Houston or Texas media news tip | COMMENT: Click to leave your thoughts on this post here